Letters to Rob

If you ever wonder if I want to give up, the answer is YES! Today has been one of those days. I can’t find my way out. I keep thinking that I don’t want to have to live this way; not one more day. Only the people who have known deep loss can understand life after loss. Is it even life? Sometimes it’s not. No matter what the day brings, including joy and laughter, there is always a hole. A … Read More

Every day, I have to make a conscious decision; to find peace and happiness even though half of my heart has been ripped out. And… even though I feel such indescribable pain, I also feel incredible peace, gratitude, strength, and fulfillment. My daughter Leah has blown me away. She has such grace, strength, resiliency, and a light shines around her constantly. I am in awe of her ability, to not just push through, but her amazing drive to be her … Read More

My daughter asked me how to answer a question on a college application she was filling out…. “Mom, the question is, how many siblings do I have? How do I answer this?” We both sat there stumped. Such a simple question, yet we didn’t know how to answer it. So much of my life is like that now. Who am I, and where is my place in this new life. When you lose a child, you lose everything that was. … Read More

I am very sentimental as the race approaches. I started this fund nine months ago. It was an idea that to try and turn grief into something positive that could help others. I had no idea that it would also help to save me. My world, as I knew it, stopped the day that Robert died. I didn’t know how I would ever survive. Through it all, I have been surrounded by such incredible love. I have learned so much … Read More

Happy Birthday Rob, Twenty!!!! What a milestone we would have passed; you leaving your teenage years. I miss you more than ever. I am still fighting this most difficult battle. The first year you were gone I was in a fog; a sense of denial. It all became so much more real after the one year anniversary of your death. I was done with you being gone, and I wanted to demand you back! When you first died, I couldn’t … Read More

My Dearest Robert Nineteen years ago, my life changed forever. I gave birth to you; my beautiful baby boy! A struggle from the beginning! Three years of trying! Fertility treatments! You were never going to make things easy☺ I never quit trying for you, even though, at times, I thought it was never going to happen. After three long years, a lot of disappointment, and In Vitro Fertilization, there you were; A beautiful, healthy, baby boy. You were perfect, and … Read More