One event changed the course of everything that followed…

posted in: Letters to Rob 0

Tomorrow is Rob’s birthday. It is always most difficult the day before. I find myself reflecting on so much, and it helps me to write out my thoughts. As always, I wrote him a letter… Dear Rob, Here we are, once again, celebrating your birthday without you. Today, you turn 27 years old. I have never liked the words, you would have been. You are still as present for me as the day you left me. This year has come … Read More

Writing is therapy for me…

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Grief is… Standing in American Eagle, in between two rows of men’s boxers. The boxers Rob wore. The boxers that Rob died in, in his bed. Standing there, staring at them… Was that pair them? Weren’t they blue? Wait, was it American Eagle, or was it Hollister? Why can’t I remember the exact boxers he was wearing, or exactly where they were from, when I saw him on his bed for the last time? Oh my gosh, stop picturing him … Read More

A getaway with Shannon…

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I have known you since the beginning. You were the adorable blonde working at the front desk of the foundation. Anytime I needed anything, you were always there to help me. Over time, I got to know you, and I fell in love with your beautiful soul. And, even though you never got the chance to meet Rob, it is as if you’ve always known him. Your love for me and my grief has been unconditional since the day that … Read More

I can pause for a moment…

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My grief feels like I am climbing up a mountain every day. For the most part, I can endure the climb. However, every once in a while I need to find a ledge, take a breath, and rest for a while. California is a ledge for me. It is a break from my heavy grief. Here, I can take a breath, reflect, and allow myself to feel some of my loss. And, although I know that I must continue to … Read More

In the darkest of times, there is indescribable beauty…

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For You, Because of You and In Memory of you… Robert Mason Lofink 2/21/96 – 9/14/14 Dear Robert, September 14, 2014… There I was, sitting in the front yard, hysterically crying and repeating the word “No” over and over again. I was so aware that my life had just ended, and that nothing would ever be the same. You were gone. It was such a beautiful day, on my most tragic day. It felt so cruel to be that beautiful. … Read More

There is Purpose in Pain

posted in: Letters to Rob 0

Yesterday was not an easy day for me. Sometimes my grief gets the best of me, and I have pretty severe PTSD from the sudden death of Rob. Thank you Rob, for always giving me just what I need, to remind me that there is purpose in my pain. And, thank you for the perfect breeze today. I miss you so very much. 😪 For You, Because of You and In Memory of You ♥️More

Rob’s Forever Home

It took me a very long time to get this done, and no one should ever have to do this.. Certain things make Rob’s death feel so much more final, painful and real. I have done a lot of thinking over the years as to what I wanted Robert’s forever home to look like. When I opened my package today and saw this, it made my heart break. I think about holding Robert in my arms, on the day he … Read More

Finding purpose and meaning in life…

posted in: Letters to Rob 0

Happy Birthday Dad… Losing you and Rob within nine months of each other has profoundly changed the course of my existence, and it has led me on a journey of finding purpose and meaning in life. Thank you for all of the important life lessons you taught me while here. The most important one being… don’t ever pass up an opportunity to tell people what they mean to you and how much you love them. I was blessed to be … Read More

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