In the darkest of times, there is indescribable beauty…

posted in: Letters to Rob 0

For You, Because of You and In Memory of you…
Robert Mason Lofink 2/21/96 – 9/14/14

Dear Robert,

September 14, 2014…

There I was, sitting in the front yard, hysterically crying and repeating the word “No” over and over again. I was so aware that my life had just ended, and that nothing would ever be the same. You were gone.

It was such a beautiful day, on my most tragic day. It felt so cruel to be that beautiful.

Now I understand…

It was a promise from you. A promise that in the darkest of times, there is indescribable beauty. This would become my gift of survival.

Eight years later…

You continue to change and to help save so many lives. Rising Above Addiction continues to grow. Almost every day, I get calls from individuals and families in need of help. I am able to say… it’s okay, you’re not alone and I am here to help. I never want anyone to feel as scared and alone as I did. It is a continual gift that you give to others.

We are getting ready to have our annual golf tournament and five mile run. Carroll County Adult Drug Treatment Court, HOFFA, and Rising Above Addiction all work together to help our community. I love how we all come together for a common purpose. Inclusiveness, acceptance and love always shines so brightly at our events. These are gifts that you continually give to others.

And, every day I get to witness women reclaiming their lives in two homes that are named after you and Kristin. Eight years ago, I had no idea what a sober home was. Today, countless women have walked through the doors and have a place to call home. This is an incredible gift that you continually give to others.

I think about that tragic day a lot. Me, sitting in the front yard, so broken. Somehow I made a decision to get up. I didn’t want to, and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I did it; I got up. I had to dig deeper than I ever thought I was capable of, but I was determined to find purpose and meaning, and I was determined to be an example of survival.

I am all that I have been through.

I miss you so much Robert. I miss you more today than I did yesterday, and I will miss you more tomorrow than I do today.

I promise to make You matter every day.

For You, Because of You and In Memory of You