Tomorrow is Rob’s birthday. It is always most difficult the day before. I find myself reflecting on so much, and it helps me to write out my thoughts. As always, I wrote him a letter…
Here we are, once again, celebrating your birthday without you. Today, you turn 27 years old. I have never liked the words, you would have been. You are still as present for me as the day you left me.
This year has come to be one of the most special years. I know that it’s not all about you, but for me, it always will be. Not because I’m selfish, I am just constantly trying to make sense out of losing you and finding the purpose and meaning within it…
The story of Mason…
I have shared this story a few times; however, I’m not sure the meaning is truly understood. It’s about how one event changed the course of everything that followed.
You died. It left a hole in my heart and soul that can never be filled; however, you have managed to protect the hole, by placing a beautiful patch over it. It’s a patch that will hopefully prevent any more fraying, until the moment that I get to see you again.
You died, Rising Above Addiction was born, and then Reclaiming My Life was born through Rising.
You led Sarah to your house, and she was able to find her way back and reclaim her life. You knew, in order for things to be the way they were meant to be, you had to help Morgana in a different way. You knew that I had to be in the dark about exactly how I was helping her because I would have stopped it, and it would have derailed her destiny.
Then you gave way to a chance meeting, at a dinner, that would bring Sarah and Morgana together.
And here we are…
You died, two beautiful people met, got married and a baby was born.
You died, Mason was born.
Rob, sometimes I don’t want to do it anymore. I go to bed and think, I don’t want to have to get up another day and chase after some sense of peace I’m afraid that I will never find.
And then, I remember…
You may have left me, but you’ve left me with so much.
Happy Birthday, Rob. Gosh, I miss you!
For You, Because of You and In Memory of You