For me, Facebook is a platform for expressing things that matter, things that help other people who may be going through a similar situation, and for connection. Sharing and writing about my journey of grief is therapeutic, and it helps me to process. Writing helps me to bring my emotions to the surface, and try to release some of the power that they hold over me.
It is easy for me to talk about the gifts and the blessings that Rob has given to me, and all of the ways in which he has helped people. What I struggle with is sharing my pain. Most times, I keep my darkest days and my deepest pain inside. However, I know that sharing my pain has the ability to help someone else. And, I made a promise to share my entire journey.
So…
This morning I woke up at 4:30 am from a horrible dream about Rob. I dreamt that he had been sentenced to death, and I had to take him. I won’t go into the details of the dream, but there were a lot. I could feel every gut wrenching emotion.
My first thoughts after waking up were… God, why would you let me have a dream like that, and I am very angry at you for letting it happen.
I feel like I just lost Rob all over again.
This is grief…
